![Picture](/uploads/2/0/7/7/20770918/771281936.jpg?359)
Hello world, my name is Siddhartha and I would like to share with you my struggles to reach enlightenment. As a boy, I left my father and his ways as a Brahmin to seek my own destiny with my friend Govinda. We joined the samanas and followed the ways of an ascetic. On this journey with the samanas, we rid ourselves of everything but a loincloth and an unstitched cloak. We only ate once a day and fasted for up to twenty eight days. As an attractive man, I became more reserved around women, despising my earthly desires. The world, to me, seemed bitter and lifeless. I wanted to kill the thought of atman, ridding the self from me.
Govinda and I were not happy and found no paths of enlightenment following the samanas, so we decided to depart from their ways, and continued to seek enlightenment elsewhere. We searched for Gotama, the Buddha, to see if he had any knowledge to offer. He pleased my friend Govinda, but not I. I listened very closely to his teachings, but did not agree with them. I said “Don’t be angry with me...I did not doubt you for one moment… You have learned nothing through teachings, and so I think, O Illustrious One, that nobody finds salvation through teachings.To nobody… can you communicate in words and teachings what happened to you in the hour of your enlightenment… It does not contain the secret of what the Illustrious One himself experienced- he alone among hundreds of thousands,”(Hesse 33-34). With that, I thanked him and left Govinda, my one and only friend along with my former life.
I wandered through the forest and became one with the animals and the trees. Nature and I were one and the same. I stumbled upon a river with a calm ferryman who described to me the importance of the river. I had nothing to offer him for the ride across the river, but he seemed to already know that by saying that I would come back, because, as he learned from the river, everything comes back. Once, I took my leave of the boat, I set foot in a small village where I met a young courtesan named Kamala. Her “bright red mouth… artful eyebrows… dark eyes, clever and observant… clear slender neck… [and] hands… [that were] firm and smooth, long and slender,” lured me in (Hesse 51). My heart rejoiced at how beautiful she was. I inquired to learn from her the art of loving, but my only downfall was that I had no worldly goods to offer her. She said I was not yet good enough and sent me to see Kamaswami, the merchant, to learn how to be a good businessman.
From Kamaswami, I learned how to do business, gamble, and live the life of the rich. I also learned the art of loving from Kamala. She said that I was the best lover she had ever had. For many years, I wasted away my life in these worldly endeavors. I completely forgot about and ignored my journey to enlightenment. I began to mock myself with richness. I participated in gambling events where I lost money and gained money over and over again. Over time, I began to grow older and felt sick at the sight of my own reflection in the mirror. As I sat under a mango tree, I knew that I must finish this game once and for all. Without saying goodbye to anyone, I left, to continue my journey to enlightenment.
I wandered deeper into the forest and started to wish for death to fall upon me so I wouldn't have to remember my past. As I thought of ways to end my life, I passed out and woke up under a mango tree, feeling more alive than ever. I felt OM around me, above me, below me, in and out of me. It was everywhere. OM was everywhere. I looked up and a few feet away, a monk in a yellow robe was sitting, whom I recognized as my childhood friend, Govinda. We exchanged few words and I took my leave and continued on my way. After some time, I reached a river, the same river I had stumbled upon earlier as a samana. The old me had died and a new one had awakened, this time with more happiness. I met the old ferryman, whose name, I learned, was Vasudeva, and he was kind enough to let me stay in his house and learn his trade of ferrying.
One day, an old lady and her son came to our hut who I instantly recognized as me dear friend Kamala. She introduced me to her son, Siddhartha, who turned out to be my son as well. But a terrible snake incident happened and my poor Kamala died in front of both my son and I. Siddhartha, my son, was devastated and refused to talk to me. He eventually ran away even though all I did was show him kindness. It broke my heart but Vasudeva told me to let him go. My son never wanted to be here and attachment wouldn't help. I learned that I needed to let go of him. So I said goodbye to the thought of my son and continued on with my ferryman responsibilities. I focused on the art of rowing. I would sit in the middle of the river and listen to the voices it produced. As I sat listening to each distinct voice, they are started to become one. The voices merged and I heard OM. I heard OM, OM, and only OM. The river and taught me how to listen, just as it had taught Vasudeva the same thing, many years earlier. I had finally been awakened. I saw the world for what it really was, beautiful.
I lived my life understanding that I was no better than anyone else. This world was beautiful and wonderful, and that’s all that mattered. Vasudeva saw that I had reached the goal and he took leave of his ferry, saying that his time here was done. A few days later, an old man came to the ferry asking for a ride across the river. As I talked to him, I recognized him as Govinda. I introduced myself to him and he was elated to see me again after all those years. But he was not happy about his journey. He explained how even though he followed Gotama teachings, he did not feel any closer to enlightenment. I offered to let him stay with me for the night, where I told him what I had learned from the river. I described to him the world in my new perspective and my journey of enlightenment. He did not understand what I was saying but kept quiet. I knew though, that I had reached what I had been looking for, happiness.
Govinda and I were not happy and found no paths of enlightenment following the samanas, so we decided to depart from their ways, and continued to seek enlightenment elsewhere. We searched for Gotama, the Buddha, to see if he had any knowledge to offer. He pleased my friend Govinda, but not I. I listened very closely to his teachings, but did not agree with them. I said “Don’t be angry with me...I did not doubt you for one moment… You have learned nothing through teachings, and so I think, O Illustrious One, that nobody finds salvation through teachings.To nobody… can you communicate in words and teachings what happened to you in the hour of your enlightenment… It does not contain the secret of what the Illustrious One himself experienced- he alone among hundreds of thousands,”(Hesse 33-34). With that, I thanked him and left Govinda, my one and only friend along with my former life.
I wandered through the forest and became one with the animals and the trees. Nature and I were one and the same. I stumbled upon a river with a calm ferryman who described to me the importance of the river. I had nothing to offer him for the ride across the river, but he seemed to already know that by saying that I would come back, because, as he learned from the river, everything comes back. Once, I took my leave of the boat, I set foot in a small village where I met a young courtesan named Kamala. Her “bright red mouth… artful eyebrows… dark eyes, clever and observant… clear slender neck… [and] hands… [that were] firm and smooth, long and slender,” lured me in (Hesse 51). My heart rejoiced at how beautiful she was. I inquired to learn from her the art of loving, but my only downfall was that I had no worldly goods to offer her. She said I was not yet good enough and sent me to see Kamaswami, the merchant, to learn how to be a good businessman.
From Kamaswami, I learned how to do business, gamble, and live the life of the rich. I also learned the art of loving from Kamala. She said that I was the best lover she had ever had. For many years, I wasted away my life in these worldly endeavors. I completely forgot about and ignored my journey to enlightenment. I began to mock myself with richness. I participated in gambling events where I lost money and gained money over and over again. Over time, I began to grow older and felt sick at the sight of my own reflection in the mirror. As I sat under a mango tree, I knew that I must finish this game once and for all. Without saying goodbye to anyone, I left, to continue my journey to enlightenment.
I wandered deeper into the forest and started to wish for death to fall upon me so I wouldn't have to remember my past. As I thought of ways to end my life, I passed out and woke up under a mango tree, feeling more alive than ever. I felt OM around me, above me, below me, in and out of me. It was everywhere. OM was everywhere. I looked up and a few feet away, a monk in a yellow robe was sitting, whom I recognized as my childhood friend, Govinda. We exchanged few words and I took my leave and continued on my way. After some time, I reached a river, the same river I had stumbled upon earlier as a samana. The old me had died and a new one had awakened, this time with more happiness. I met the old ferryman, whose name, I learned, was Vasudeva, and he was kind enough to let me stay in his house and learn his trade of ferrying.
One day, an old lady and her son came to our hut who I instantly recognized as me dear friend Kamala. She introduced me to her son, Siddhartha, who turned out to be my son as well. But a terrible snake incident happened and my poor Kamala died in front of both my son and I. Siddhartha, my son, was devastated and refused to talk to me. He eventually ran away even though all I did was show him kindness. It broke my heart but Vasudeva told me to let him go. My son never wanted to be here and attachment wouldn't help. I learned that I needed to let go of him. So I said goodbye to the thought of my son and continued on with my ferryman responsibilities. I focused on the art of rowing. I would sit in the middle of the river and listen to the voices it produced. As I sat listening to each distinct voice, they are started to become one. The voices merged and I heard OM. I heard OM, OM, and only OM. The river and taught me how to listen, just as it had taught Vasudeva the same thing, many years earlier. I had finally been awakened. I saw the world for what it really was, beautiful.
I lived my life understanding that I was no better than anyone else. This world was beautiful and wonderful, and that’s all that mattered. Vasudeva saw that I had reached the goal and he took leave of his ferry, saying that his time here was done. A few days later, an old man came to the ferry asking for a ride across the river. As I talked to him, I recognized him as Govinda. I introduced myself to him and he was elated to see me again after all those years. But he was not happy about his journey. He explained how even though he followed Gotama teachings, he did not feel any closer to enlightenment. I offered to let him stay with me for the night, where I told him what I had learned from the river. I described to him the world in my new perspective and my journey of enlightenment. He did not understand what I was saying but kept quiet. I knew though, that I had reached what I had been looking for, happiness.